People often frame Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) as a women’s issue — and they’re partly right. But to end it, we must recognize its full scope: men look on, men feel its impact, and men’s attitudes help either perpetuate or end the practice. Too rarely do we ask: how do husbands and male partners experience this?
From male sexual dissatisfaction to marital strain and shifting norms, men in many communities are confronting the realities of FGM. When we bring them into the discussion, we don’t just add another voice — we unlock new pathways to advocacy, healing and change.
Men’s Perceptions: Tradition, Control and Social Pressure
In many FGM-practicing societies, men’s roles and voices are complex. Some men believe FGM ensures female chastity or fidelity. A systematic review found that while many men say they would prefer uncircumcised women, strong social norms override their personal views.
- Some men view uncut women as “unclean” or “promiscuous,” linking social status to FGM.
- Other men worry about being emasculated or losing control over a partner’s sexuality—so they support the practice despite knowing the risks.
- Younger, urban men or migrants often show less support for FGM, especially when they become aware of the health and sexual complications.
Understanding these male viewpoints shows that FGM is not purely “women’s business.” Male attitudes shape marriage choices, sexual relations, and cultural enforcement of the practice.
Sexual Problems for Men: When FGM Affects Both Partners
FGM isn’t just a problem for women. Men experience consequences too — physical, relational and emotional. A study in Sudan revealed that many men reported difficulty with penetration, penile wounds, infections, or psychological distress linked to their wives’ FGM.
Key male-reported issues:
- Sexual dissatisfaction or frustration due to reduced response or pain in the partner.
- Marital tension resulting from a partner’s discomfort or inability to enjoy sex.
- Shame or confusion in men who feel they cannot satisfy their wives, weakening their self-esteem.
These impacts often remain unspoken. Many men do not discuss the intimate consequences of FGM, which leaves couples isolated and healing stunted. When men feel their experiences are dismissed, the cycle continues.
Marriage & Intimacy: Shifting Norms and Male Resistance
Marriage is often the arena where FGM’s consequences become most visible. When newly married men face sexual complications — bleeding, pain, lack of desire — their expectations of intimacy and connection are shaken. One Kenyan campaign emphasized that engaging men helped shift attitudes: more men began rejecting FGM and refusing to marry circumcised daughters or insist on it.
How this plays out:
- Men are steering away from marrying cut women as awareness grows, creating changing norms.
- Some men break tradition despite community backlash — adopting uncircumcised wives, becoming male “champions” against FGM.
- Marriage dynamics change when men support women’s full sexuality and bodily integrity, rather than seeing FGM as “proof” of control or value.
When men’s expectations shift from control to connection, the practice of FGM begins to lose its social fuel.
The Path to Change: How Men Can Help End FGM
Men have a powerful role in stopping FGM — but only if we recognize it and engage them with respect, not blame. Research shows that male‐specific education, male peer groups and targeted interventions help lower support for FGM.
What helps:
- Focused awareness programs for men: explaining FGM’s impact on female health and couple intimacy.
- Open dialogue spaces for men: safe forums where they can express doubts, gain knowledge and join advocacy.
- Encouraging male allies: celebrating men who refuse FGM, protect daughters from it and speak up publicly.
- Male role models in communities: when community leaders change behavior, others follow.
Men may not always decide whether a girl is cut, but they often influence the cultural value of it through marriage choices, sexual dynamics, and social leadership. Shifting male perceptions helps shift the culture.
Mental Health & Relationship Trauma: The Human Cost on Both Sides
The practice of FGM and its aftermath do not just damage bodies — they damage minds, relationships and trust. The trauma of FGM affects women’s mental health with higher rates of anxiety, depression and PTSD. Meanwhile, men and couples suffer relational trauma, unmet intimacy, and emotional distance.
Couple & mental health consequences:
- Women may feel shame, fear or disconnection from their bodies; men may internalize guilt, frustration or loneliness.
- Relationships may suffer due to sexual dysfunction, lack of communication, or mutual trauma.
- When intimacy fails, relational trust and emotional wellbeing decline — affecting both partners’ mental health.
Healing must include both partners: counselling for couples, sexual health support, and trauma‐informed care. Without this, the cycle of hidden pain continues.
Conclusion
FGM may be deeply rooted in culture, but it isn’t immovable — especially when men join the fight. He’s watching. He’s affected. And when he chooses respect over tradition, change happens. Every man who refuses to marry cut daughters, protects uncut girls, or speaks against FGM shifts the equation.
This is not just a fight for women’s bodies — it’s a fight for men’s integrity, couples’ intimacy and collective mental health.
“When he chooses hers — and his — integrity over tradition, the cut finally loses its power.”
