Grief after losing someone you love can feel heavy, confusing, and endless. The world may keep moving, but your heart often stands still. During this time, well-meaning friends or family might say, “It’s time to move on.” These words can sting. They make grief sound like a task with a deadline, as if deep love should have an end date.
But grief doesn’t work that way. We don’t move on. We move forward. The loss becomes part of our story. It changes us, shapes us, and stays with us. Moving forward is about learning to live with that love and pain side by side. Understanding this difference can bring comfort, emotional honesty, and real healing.
The Myth of “Moving On”
Watch this TEDx Talk where Nora McInerny, a writer and podcaster, talks about how we do not “move on” from grief but move forward with it:
Many people believe grief should fade with time. They think you’ll wake up one day and feel “normal” again. This belief creates pressure. It makes people hide their feelings or pretend they’re fine.
Grief doesn’t have a finish line. You don’t erase love when someone dies. The bond remains. The pain may change over time, but it doesn’t disappear. Telling someone to “move on” can make them feel unseen and misunderstood. Grief is a personal journey, not a race.
- Grief is not something you complete; it’s something you carry differently over time.
- Each person’s path through grief is unique and unfolds at its own pace.
- The pressure to “move on” can delay healing by forcing people to hide pain.
- Love doesn’t end with death, so grief doesn’t have an endpoint either.
- Recognizing this truth gives space for honest emotional growth.
What “Moving Forward” Really Means
Moving forward isn’t about forgetting or letting go. It’s about learning to live in a new way. It means carrying memories with you while finding meaning and hope again.
People who move forward build new routines, nurture relationships, and rediscover joy. The pain may soften, but the love remains. This process takes time and gentle acceptance, not pressure. It honors both the person lost and the person still living.
- Moving forward allows space for grief and growth to coexist.
- You can remember your loved one while creating a meaningful future.
- This approach respects your emotions without forcing a timeline.
- Moving forward focuses on healing, not erasing the past.
- It encourages people to build life around the loss, not beyond it.
How Language Shapes Grief
Words matter deeply during grief. When someone says “move on,” it can feel like they’re dismissing the bond you shared. It sounds as if love should be boxed up and stored away.
Shifting the language to “move forward” permits to grieve openly. It recognizes that your loved one will always hold a place in your heart. This change can create a more supportive environment for healing.
- “Move forward” respects the emotional depth of grief.
- It encourages honest conversations and shared memories.
- Using better language reduces shame around grieving “too long.”
- Compassionate words offer comfort instead of pressure.
- Families and friends can support healing by listening, not fixing.
Supporting Someone Who Is Moving Forward
When supporting someone in grief, avoid setting timelines. Each journey is personal. Listen more than you speak. Simple acts, such as showing up, checking in, or sitting quietly together, can mean more than just advice.
Encourage small steps without rushing the process. Celebrate emotional honesty. Let them tell their stories without interruption. These gestures build trust and help people feel safe as they rebuild their lives.
- Be present without forcing positivity or solutions.
- Validate their feelings, even when they’re messy.
- Offer help with daily tasks to reduce pressure.
- Respect their pace and personal needs.
- Encourage connection without dismissing pain.
Grief Is a Lifelong Journey
Grief doesn’t end; it changes shape. Some days it feels light. On other days, it returns like a wave. This is normal. Moving forward means learning to live with these waves, not fighting them.
With time, people often find new meaning, deeper empathy, and renewed strength. This doesn’t mean they’ve moved on. It means they’ve woven their loss into the fabric of their lives in a way that allows them to keep living fully.
Conclusion
Grief is not something you leave behind. It’s something you carry with you as you keep living. Telling someone to “move on” can shut down real healing. Instead, embracing the idea of moving forward honors both the love and the loss.
Healing happens when we allow space for pain, love, and hope to exist together. By changing our language and expectations, we create a culture where grief is understood, not rushed. This helps people rebuild their lives with compassion, honesty, and strength.
